Twisted Honeymoon
by Scarlet Redd
Summary: Isle Esme is the perfect place for a honeymoon, but when Edward said he wouldn't touch her til she was changed, that changed Bella's view of everything.


It had been a week since the first and only time they made love

It had been a week since the first and only time they made love. Island Esme was definitely the perfect place for a honeymoon, and Bella wouldn't have had it anywhere else. She was so glad that Edward had chosen this place and kept it a secret from her. She loved the ocean view they had from the house, she loved that she could go to the ocean anytime she wanted, and do anything she wanted when she wanted. That is, anything but _that_.

Bella couldn't forget about his words. His words that made the strongest promise, yet the deepest wound… _I will not make love with you until you've been changed. I will never hurt you again._

The first time she had sex ever was with the one person she truly loved. She had given him her virginity and with all her happiness she received his. It had been the most perfect night of her entire life. Sex with Edward Cullen, her husband, was absolutely amazing.

She could remember it all. The way he grazed her skin, the way his lips felt on hers while he slid off her clothes and to the ground. She loved every moment he would chase her skin with his lips, especially when they would end up on the one place she always craved his lips on: her breasts.

She could remember it all so clearly. His hands would cup her breasts. He would graze them gently then run his cold wet tongue over them.

She loved it completely. But she knew it would be a very long time before she could experience that again. She hated it, and as much as she knew how strong he stood on his promise she didn't give up. She tried different things every day and night to try to have him love her again. But he wouldn't give in.

Bella decided to try one more time.

She wore one of the lingerie pieces Alice had packed for her. It was black, lacy. It covered her breasts, barely, then a complete see-through veil from under the breast to just above her crotch. When it came down to it, it was a solid black, and on the back it turned into a thong. Her back was completely bare.

She stepped out of the bathroom, and found Edward sitting on the bed. She loved so much when he saw her, his eyes popped open wide, then controlled his expression once again. She pirouetted, letting him see every angle of the outfit she had chosen for the night, and letting him enjoy what he had been missing for one week. She asked him what he thought about it.

"You look beautiful. You always do."

With that she knew it was starting off like every other night. A hopeless night, she knew, was awaiting her. She kept trying, though. She tried to arch her back, to lean in closer so he could get a better look at her breasts, and she would even sweep her hair across him, letting him see the back part of the outfit again.

When he turned off the light, wrapped his arms around her and lay down, she knew it was a lost cause. She exhaled in defeat and tried her hardest not to cry herself to sleep.

That night, Bella had a dream. She dreamt she and Edward were on the beach. They were lying down on the warm sand and the ocean water rising each time touching their toes and refreshing their bodies just a bit.

He turned to where he was above her, taking care that his weight didn't crush her, and began kissing her. She played around with his hair while he slid off her top and grazed her breasts. Bella couldn't hold on any longer, so she wrapped both legs around his waist, bringing him down and forcing him to crush her with a strength that only pleased her.

Just when he was about to go inside her, she woke up with a loud gasp. Edward felt her, and he immediately began to worry. "Bella, are you okay? What's wrong?"

She began to cry softly. Edward held her tightly. "Was it another nightmare?" he kissed her on the forehead. "Don't worry, Love. It's only a dream. It's not real. I'm here, Love. You don't have to be afraid."

_Only a dream._ She thought. _It's not real. It will never be real for me again…_

The tears began to flow heavier and faster. She tried again. She lifted herself up to his lips and kissed him. He kissed her back, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. When he noticed what she was up to, he grabbed her shoulders and gently pushed her away.

"I can't, Bella." He said with his eyes closed, and his voice full of pain. "You know I can't! I'll hurt you!"

She cried harder, but still no sound. She said to herself, _one last time. If this_ _doesn't work, then I'm done trying._ "Please, Edward. Please… just please…!"

Neither of them said anything for what seemed an eternity. She took his silence as his answer. "I'm s-s-s-sorry…" she gasped hard.

She broke free from his grasp, from a nearby chair she grabbed her robe, and ran out the bedroom door. She kept running until she arrived at the doorstep of the glass door that led to the ocean. His body was her own personal cooler. The climate in the island was too hot for her to sustain alone, so what she did was she stayed there and let the ocean's breeze provide her with the necessary cooling system.

Edward followed shortly after and found her. He was wearing nothing but boxers, and he felt like shit. He felt so bad for making her run out of the bedroom like that and end up on the ground.

Bella felt his presence, and knew he was going to sit and try to cheer her up. She was too depressed and heart broken to be cheered up at all. When he got close enough to where he would sit he would hug her, she stopped him. "No, don't. I want to be alone tonight."

He froze for a moment, then respected her decision. He walked slowly back, making her believe he was going to the bedroom, but he stayed in the living room staring at her through the glass. He sat down on the couch and not for one instant did he take his eyes off of her.

_I'm tired of this;_ she said to herself, tears strolling down, _I can't do this anymore. I've tried and tried, and he just won't give me what I want! What's gonna happen now is that I'm going to avoid any contact with him at all. If all of a sudden I feel the urge to be with him, or if my heart starts beating faster I'll just get out of there. It's best I end things before they start. So, I, too, will stick to his promise. We will not be together until I have been changed._

She slept there, and when she woke up the sun was shining on her face. She was still hot, but not as hot as she thought she would be. Looks like the ocean likes her.

She got up, and stretched a bit. When she turned around to get inside, she saw him. He was sitting there, staring at her. She walked in slowly, covering herself up, not wanting to start things up again. When she was inside and a few steps closer to Edward, he looked a little more lighten up.

"How do you feel?" he asked.

"Tired." She looked down, then back up at him. "Did you stay there the entire night?"

"Yes." He answered without hesitation. He began to walk closer to her. She didn't want to get hurt again, not ever again like last night.

"You know what?" she stepped back a few, her hand going instantly to her neck and chest. "I'm really sweaty and sticky. I'm gonna shower."

Without waiting for any agreement from him, she walked by fast, went into the bedroom to get her clothes, and went inside the shower.

It was true that she felt sticky, but she also felt very hot, and not because of the temperature. She felt hot because her hormones were going crazy and they were heating her body up intensely high. She decided to take a cold shower and calm those damned hormones.

After having her body, and hair cleansed, and legs shaved she stayed under the cold spray for almost an hour. When she felt she was okay enough to face him, she stepped outside. She dried herself, got clothed, then headed out.

Sheexpected to find him either in the bedroom or in the living room. He was in neither place. She wanted to look for him, but she knew that if she was near him she would get the urge again. So she let him find her.

She stood in front of the entertainment system in the living room and decided she wanted to watch a movie. She began to read the titles. _A Walk to Remember, The Notebook Tristan and Isolde, The Wedding Planner, Romeo and Juliet, Anna and the King_. What was this?! The romantic era?! She tried to look for an action packed movie or a horror movie. She found a few. _The James Bond 007 Collection, The Covenant, Underworld, Underworld: Evolution_. Well, these were all action/horror movies, but each one had a romance involved. She decided to stay away from those, too. She tried to look for something else. She kept reading title after title. She didn't find anything.

Suddenly she felt cool arms wrap around her. She was surprised, then felt Edward's chin resting on her shoulder. She tried not to look at him or respond to his embrace.

He turned his head slightly around to kiss her cheek, her neck. He felt her tense and turn away from his kisses. He knew she was hurt, but he was gonna fix that.

"I've missed you, Love." He kissed her again. "I thought you were never coming out of the shower." He kissed her again.

She freed herself from his embrace, and looked at him with a sad smile and her eyes about to spill. "You know what, Edward; I think I wanna take a walk." She headed towards the one place of the island that seemed to love her: the ocean. The wore khaki capris with a hot pink short sleeve shirt and soft pink flip-flops. She stepped out, and when she was getting closer to the ocean she removed her shoes and began to walk on the wet sand as the ocean reached for her toes.

The wind would blow on her hair, and it would fly freely. She loved the feeling it brought to her. She felt embraced, and in a way loved.

She walked for about thirty minutes, and the only reason she went back was because her stomach was begging her to. She had it all planned. She was gonna make some pancakes with sausage and egg on the side. She could already smell it.

When she walked in she was completely surprised. Edward had made breakfast for her. She was beginning to doubt if he could in fact read her mind because he made exactly what she was picturing. He pulled a chair.

"Come sit. Enjoy your meal."

She couldn't resist it. She did as he asked. When she had sat and Edward pushed her chair in, he leaned down and kissed her cheek. Once again, she turned her head slightly; tried to hide her true feelings. Edward didn't seem to notice.

He placed the plate near her with silver wear, a napkin and a glass of orange juice. She gladly ate it all, and she loved it. She had the feeling that it tasted better than what she usually cooks.

For two days it was all the same. Both nights she slept in a sleeveless shirt and knee-length shorts. She allowed Edward to wrap his arms around her for the only reason that he would cool her down.

For two days he tried getting closer to her, and she tried to get away. She would always come up with excuses, and she seriously thought Edward was buying them.

On the third night, she went into the bathroom to change into her now-usual pajamas. When she came out she found Edward on the bed. He was leaning on his elbow, and looking up at her. She also found a two-piece black lingerie outfit she recognized from what Alice had packed for her. She stared at it, then at Edward.

He smiled at her, then nodded towards the outfit. "Try that on for me, will you?"

She stared back at the outfit. Was he serious? Why was he doing this? She kept staring at it and she couldn't hold back the tears and sobs. She was ashamed, and so she ran.

She wanted to run to the ocean, but then decided against it. She wanted to stay inside, but where? She wanted to stay away from him! Where could she go?

She went to the first place a child would go: behind the entertainment unit against the wall. She sat down, her back against it; she rested her head on her knees and continued her crying.

She knew it was only a matter of time before he came looking for her, so she just waited. Sure enough he was beside her. He didn't say anything, but she knew he was there.

"Love, what's wrong? Do you not want to…?" he didn't know why she reacted like that. He thought that's what she wanted.

She lifted her face up enough to see his eyes, and she only cried more while speaking.

"Isn't it enough that you're making me abstain? Do you really have to make go through that, too?" She returned her head to her knees.

Edward was shocked. Bella had the wrong idea the entire time. He thought he was being clear.

"Bella, Love, I had, and still do, every intention of making love to you."

She lifted her head once again. She stared at him.

"What? But you said-"

"Forget what I said! I can't keep having you avoid me any longer! Even if it's to help me keep my promise about not hurting you I can't have you ignoring me all the time! I love you too much to lose you at the very beginning of our marriage. I don't want to lose you, Bella. I'm willing to do anything to get you back. If it's sex you want, then sex you'll get. But please, don't avoid me any longer. You have no idea how much I ache when you turn away from my kisses, when you break free from my arms, when you run away from me with the lamest excuses. I don't want you away from me, Love. I'm done trying, and I want you to please work with me. I don't want to lose you."

If he could cry, Bella was sure he would be right now.

She wanted to throw herself at his arms that instant and let him take her back to the bed, but she was not sure. He was doing this out of guilt, not out of love. She wasn't sure she wanted it that way. Even if it meant having sex for the first time in over a week, she wasn't sure she wanted to.

She looked at his eyes. "Edward, why are you doing this?"

Her question shocked him. "Why am I doing what?"

"Trying to get me to have sex with you. Why?"

He looked at her eyes, and he was saddened at her question. _Why are you doing this?_

"Because I love you. I thought I had gotten that point across so many times before."

"You do not understand me, Edward." She shook her head. "Why are you trying to have sex with me now? Why not last week? Why not when I begged you to? Why now?"

He touched the side of her face. "Because I want you. I realize I can't be without you, Bella. I _need_ you. I can't go another night without you anymore. I want to kiss your lips. I want to touch your smooth skin, and I want you to feel me. I love you, Bella Cullen. I can't be without you anymore."

She smiled at him, and threw herself at him. He received her, and lifted her up. Next thing she knew, she was laying on the bed, Edward taking hers and his clothes.

That's what she wanted. She felt him make love to her with _true love_. Not guilt love, or pity love. True love and she knew this was just the beginning of many more nights to come.


End file.
